- Girl Scout Cookie sales
- Magazine sales
First off, Girl Scout cookies are the easiest damn thing to sell. You don't sell them, per se. You essentially fulfill the role of pseudo-drug dealer in the scenario. I've never set foot in that underworld so all of the following assumptions that I make are solely based upon watching numerous episodes of Law and Order: Ah Screw It, We've Run Out of Police Departments.
The following are just some of the statements made by my daughter's clientelle:
- "Oh, I already have a girl that I buy from."
- "Oh, thank God your daughter is selling them this year. I need 10 boxes of thin mints. Now."
- "Please don't forget me next year when she's selling them again. Please, please, PLEASE don't forget me!"
- "Are you still selling them? ARE YOU STILL SELLING THEM?"
The best part is is that Girl Scouts USA changed their sales strategy. Rather than wait 6 weeks for your cookies, we now have them on hand. Read that last sentence again. Needless to say, our friends, family and co-workers are sufficiently tweaked.
And, after our clients are in a Thin Mint haze, we hit them up for magazine orders. All proceeds go to our daughter's school, so your order of Guns 'n Ammo is for the children.
This year, I find myself at a crossroads: do I re-up for another year of Runners World or not? I can't remember the last time I got anything beneficial out of the magazine. The way I see it, I can count on 3 articles:
- Run Your First 5K...Fast!
- 3 Core Exercises That Will Make You Run Fast!
- What to Do About Injuries...Fast!
I think my favorite article was about recovering from a 20 mile run and the author suggested, among other things:
- Take an ice bath
- Take the rest of the day off. You deserve it!
There is no way in hell that I'm going do #1 and I can only imagine how #2 would go at my house:
ME: Hey honey? I know it's Saturday and we have a crapload of things to do because we put it off during the week, but I'm going to take the day off.
BELOVED WIFE: That's fine, honey. You deserve it. Can I make you anything whilst you watch TV?
ME: Could I have the remote and the last sleeve of thin mints?
BW: Oh absolutely.